May – 2024

I watched my first child born through the lens of the midwife’s glasses. Theodorah asked me if I wanted a mirror to see the birth but it was so beautiful watching it through her eyes.

Somehow we expect or hope or imagine that a mother sees us in all of our goodness and glory. The concepts of a mama bear conjure thoughts of promised protection and fierce love. We are designed, almost destined to believe life is good, our people are good. Didn’t God say, “It is good”?

It starts with our family of origin. If we sense something is not right, we instinctively look for the good beyond the wrongs. We learn to understand unspoken rules, invisible expectations and we adapt accordingly. Our inner hero knows just what to do: “Adapt, improvise and overcome” a beautiful soldier once told me.

For love’s sake, we become what is needed for the lives we have been given. Dick Schwartz, author of “No Bad Parts” and creator of Internal Family Systems says internal parts are created inside of us to protect and manage the unbearable so we can survive. He has met with thousands of people, some of whom have committed heinous crimes and he says there are No. Bad. Parts. We are all inherently good, just trying to survive.

In appreciation of Mother’s Day, here’s to looking at things through eyes of love. Here’s to looking for the good in your parts. Here’s to seeing the tenderest, truthiest, realest, best place in yourself and our people. When you do, you may be surprised by what you find!

It is so inspiring to see one of my kiddos making things right and good in life. It blows me away to see how another is flourishing in a space of discipline and creativity. I am humbled by another’s leadership and humility. And another chicken keeps surpassing any expectation. And I see you …. Your heroism, power, insight, vision …. And I am amazed.

Literally nothing short of beautiful and magical to me.

Try On A Mother’s Eyes:

Eyes of Feeling Loved

Think of a person who has made you feel loved. Spend a few moments basking in the their love. Remember things they have said to you. Call to mind how you have felt when you are with them. Writing or drawing what comes to mind could create a template for new eyes to feeling loved.

Eyes Seeing Your Day

Scan your day. What moment would you relive? When did you feel life and self were aligned? When did you feel your best? This is your consolation. Now think of your worst moment. What moment would you not want to repeat or even remember? When were you at your worst? This is your desolation. Keeping track of this Examen can lead to attuned eyesight.

Eyes Into Your Body

Take three deep breaths. Then scan your body, finding a place that calls for your attention. It may be a feeling of tension or pain. As you continue deep breaths, exhale, imagining your breath going toward the place in your body that wants attention. Do this for several breaths. What comes up for you? What images or stories come up can give eyesight to your inside.