March 2023

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A Mother’s Heart

I am excited to be training to become a parenting coach!

A couple of years ago I attended a seminar about parenting that rocked my world. For two days I listened to a man in his seventies lay the groundwork for cultivating well rounded, successful children. By the end of the seminar, I was a mess. I left the workshop sobbing. According to this self-acclaimed parenting guru, I had done everything wrong. I followed none of his perfect parenting plan. Based on this expert’s philosophy, any struggle any of our children were having was a result of my poor parenting.

I pulled myself together and made my way back to my heart. We were in the thick of raising four kids aged 12 to 18. I had spent eighteen years trusting my kids’ good hearts. When they struggled, I instinctively looked inward to see how our family dynamic could be affecting their peace. As hard as this was, it helped keep our connections close and it changed me.

This month of Mothers’ Day and proms, banquets and appreciation weeks, graduations and making summer plans I wanted to share the hope that becoming awake to our unconscious can help us become more of who we are meant to be. I believe this awakening could change all of us, our families and our world.

Conscious Parenting is a philosophy that encourages parents to be awakened and matured through their family relationships. Children are seen as useful partners on the path to becoming more aware and more authentic. It believes we don’t fix the child, we fix the parent. We are taught and awakened by what is happening in the moment in the relationship. In this process, we are able to heal the past and look forward to a new future where there is power and connection and freedom.

“More often than not, it’s in times of conflict that we get to see the full range of our unconscious theatrics” says Dr. Shefali Tsabary. That internal hidden drama can wedge grand canyons between us and our people.

The spiritually seeking psychologist Carl Jung promised that when the unconscious is not made conscious, “it will guide our lives and we will call it fate”. The work of awakening to our shadows, (as Jung called the unknown parts of us) allows us to connect with a deeper part of ourselves that can bring clarity and reality. In the heat of a moment, whether with a child or with your inner child, it is important not to ignore our unconscious internal screams: “What if they hurt themselves? What if they fail? But I want what I want! This is not how I thought it would be.”

Conscious parenting uses our internal cries to help wake us up so we can see our true selves. Our children become a mirror to our inside world. Engaging with that world is the most potent work we can do.

In honor of a mother’s heart, I want to live into a pursuit of connection that isn’t shaming, doesn’t control, isn’t violent or punishing, isn’t coercive or competitive and isn’t hierarchal.

I hope to allow the reality of relationships to speak to me about my own shadows so I can maintain respect, dignity and connection. With this in mind, I look forward to sharing the wisdom of Conscious Parenting to awaken and inspire hopeful change for us all.

Believing with Brandi Carlile in ‘The Mother’, we are all nothing short of magical and beautiful.